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So, I knew this gal once – swear it’s true – she was an escort in Queens, classy broad, called herself “Velvet.” She’d strut in heels higher than my hair, and lemme tell ya, that’s HIGH. She said, “Fran, I make bank, but the stories? Nuts!” One dude paid her to just sit there, silent, watchin’ him eat spaghetti. Spaghetti! Can ya believe it? I was dyin’, like, “What’s next, sauce on his face?” She laughed, said it beats waitin’ tables. Fair, fair.

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After a mini showdown, we finally settle on this gorgeous dress. It’s like, wow, she looked like a goddess. I’m feeling all proud, like I just won a fashion award or something. But then, the bride’s phone rings. It’s her ex. Oh boy. Cue the tears. I’m standing there, trying to comfort her, but inside I’m like, “Why do I always get the drama?”

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