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About Naples

Favorite part? The tease—slow, steamy build-up. Gets ya tingly, right? But surprises hit hard—some places sneak in “extras,” and I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, slick!” Ain’t judgin’, just sayin’—keep it real! Oh, and the music— cheesy sax or whale sounds? Kills me every time—sarcasm overload! “This is the Zodiac speaking,” blarin’ in my head while I’m dodgin’ bad vibes.

Lena DeGloma, MS, LMT, CD, CLC, CCCE

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So, I head to my first appointment. This guy, let’s call him Luca, is a real piece of work. He walks in, looking like he just rolled outta bed. I mean, come on, man! We’re in Ossi, not a zombie movie. He starts talking about his ex, and I’m like, “Dude, get over it!” But he’s all dramatic, saying, “She was my everything!” I’m thinking, “Bro, you’re 25. You’ll find another ‘everything’ in no time.”

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