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Oh, and the music—sometimes cheesy spa crap, makes me wanna gag. But when it’s good? “Silence is the loudest cry,” like in the movie—quiet vibes, just breathin and oil squishin. Pure bliss, my friend, pure fuckin bliss. What’s your take, huh? You into this slippery mess or what?

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Then, around noon, I get a call about a dog stuck in a tree. A TREE! I’m thinking, “How does that even happen?” So, I grab my gear and head to the address. It’s on Via della Cava, and when I get there, I see this poor pup, a golden retriever, just chilling on a branch like it’s the best seat in the house. I’m laughing so hard, I almost forget to help him. The owner’s panicking, and I’m like, “Dude, he’s fine! Just a little high up!”

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