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About Rome

I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause one time, my cousin Shonda tried it—met this fool who said he was “runnin’ the world like Immortan Joe.” Chile, he showed up with no car, no job, and a flip phone! I hollered, “Run ‘em down, Furiosa-style!” She was done, y’all—done! Made me laugh so hard I near ‘bout peed myself. But real talk, it shocked me how bold these folks get—sextin’ five minutes in, like, “ “Put your back into it!”—calm down, we just met, Tyrone!

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So, I keep walking, and I end up at the park near the church. It’s peaceful there. Kids are playing, people are laughing. I sit on a bench, munching on my tomatoes. Life is good, right? But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I can’t help but eavesdrop. They’re fighting about…wait for it…who left the cap off the toothpaste! I’m dying. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about?

Caught in the Act: The Champagne Thief