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So, I’m scrollin’, right? And I see this chick—gorgeous, I mean, wow! Bio says, “Lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Perfect! I’m in! But then—THEN—she ghosts me! After two messages! Two! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Made me so mad, I yelled at my phone—neighbors prob’ly think I’m nuts now. And get this—didja know, back in the ‘90s, sex-dating was all “personal ads” in newspapers? Yeah! Little known fact—people wrote, “SWF seeks SWM for discreet fun.” No pics, no swipes—just blind faith! Wild, right? Now it’s all “dick pics or bust.” Disgustin’!

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So, I’m trying to calm him down, right? But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s at the beach, sending me pics of the waves crashing on Spiaggia di Marina. I’m like, “Really, man? You’re at the beach while I’m stuck here?” I mean, Orosei’s got some of the best beaches, and I’m here playing doctor. Ugh!

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