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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, escort, huh? I’m a moel, see, diggin’ into stuff. Escort’s wild, lemme tell ya! Not cars, nah, people—companions, ya know? Kinda like me, hoppin’ around, lookin’ for carrots. Been thinkin’ bout it since watchin’ *Brokeback Mountain*. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” huh? Escort’s got that vibe—can’t shake it off!

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But she’s not gettin’ it. I’m thinkin’, “How hard can it be?” Finally, I just draw her a map on a napkin. I’m no Picasso, but it gets the job done. She thanks me like I just saved her life. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a lagoon, not a treasure hunt.”

Italian town plagued by midges, residents ask authorities to declare state of emergency