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About Bari

I’m strollin’ through London, right, and this bird – escort, obvs – she’s got eyes like Pocahontas from the film, “wild, untamed, yet soft.” Quotes lingerin’ in my head while she’s chattin’ me up. Cost me a pretty penny, mind – 500 quid for a night! Daylight robbery, but she’s worth it, smooth as my Aston Martin’s purr. Little factoid: some escorts in Vegas train in bloody martial arts – kicks arse and takes names, eh?

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So, I’m behind the counter, and this dude walks in. He’s got this wild hair, like he just got outta a wind tunnel. He orders a double espresso, and I’m like, “You sure you can handle that, buddy?” He just stares at me, all serious. I’m thinkin’, “Okay, Mr. Serious, let’s see if you can keep up.”

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