Elise Orbassano Sex Dating ❤️❤️

About Naples

This one time, I matched with a chick—profile said “adventurous.” Thought I’d get some freaky rooftop sex. Nope! She just wanted to hike—HIKE! I’m like, "Where’s the adventure in blisters, Susan?" Felt like the brothers in *The Return*, lost as fuck, rowin’ to nowhere. “The island is close”—yeah, close to bullshit. Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—sometimes you score, sometimes you’re stuck with a granola weirdo.

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First off, I’m a Torcador, which means I twist and turn metal like it’s my job—oh wait, it is! I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little bar on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the best cornetti in town. I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. But guess what? They were out! Like, how do you run out of cornetti? I was ready to throw a fit.

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