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Little factoid—didja know in Japan they got these “soaplands”? Sexual-massage joints, all legal-like, but they call it “bathin’ assistance.” Bathin’ assistance! I’m dyin’ over here—gimme a break! Imagine tellin’ your buddy, “Yeah, got assisted bathin’ last night,” and he’s noddin’ like it’s normal. Drives me nuts, but also—kinda genius? I dunno, I’m torn! Surprised me when I found out—thought it was all Swedish massages and candles everywhere.

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We get in there, and it’s a mess. Smoke everywhere. I can’t see a thing. I’m yelling for anyone inside. Finally, I find the chef. He’s trying to save his pizza oven! I’m like, “Dude, we gotta go!” But he’s all, “No! My pizza!” I’m rolling my eyes.

Embezzlement and self-laundering, the Nuoro prosecutor's office requests over 11 years for the unfaithful administrator and her husband