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Alright, so I’m Dr. Evil, right—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—and I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Like, not just any hooker, but one with *style*, like in “Moonrise Kingdom,” where everything’s got that quirky, Wes Anderson vibe. Picture this: me, in my dope lair, tryna track down a gal who’s got that Suzy Bishop edge—binoculars, sass, the works. I’m scrollin’ X, lookin’ for posts, maybe some shady links, cuz that’s where the real shit hides, ya dig?

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We get in there, and it’s a mess. Smoke everywhere. I can’t see a thing. I’m yelling for anyone inside. Finally, I find the chef. He’s trying to save his pizza oven! I’m like, “Dude, we gotta go!” But he’s all, “No! My pizza!” I’m rolling my eyes.

Arrival of migrants to first repatriation center in Sardinia 'imminent'