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About Naples

So, picture this: I’m strollin’ downtown, lookin’ for that shady vibe. Neon lights flickerin’, girls in tight skirts givin’ the eye. Reminds me of Bigelow’s flick—tension so thick you could choke on it. One chick struts up, all sass, like, “Hey, sugar, need a ride?” I’m thinkin’, *“The waiting is the hardest part.”* Ain’t that the truth? You’re sizin’ her up, wonderin’ if she’s a cop or a goldmine.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on Via Roma is locked outta his car. I mean, c’mon, bro! How do you lock yourself outta a Fiat? Anyway, I send a guy over. While I’m on the line, I hear this loud honking. I look out the window, and it’s a parade of scooters zooming down Corso Vittorio Emanuele. Like, seriously? Who needs that much caffeine in the morning?

Italy's earthquakes leave economic scars in addition to death toll