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About Catania

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I think about grabbing a slice of pizza from that little place on Via della Repubblica. But nooo, I get another call. A couple on Via Cavour is arguing over who gets the last piece of lasagna. I mean, really? You’re fighting over lasagna? I tell ‘em to chill and just split it. It’s lasagna, not a gold bar!

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