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Oh, and the rules! They gotta be safe, test regular, deal with sketchy apps. One told me ‘bout a glitch that outed her location. I was like, “Are you kiddin’ me?” Gabagool, tech’s a nightmare! But they handle it, like Suzy with her kitten in the movie, all calm but fierce.

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While I’m waiting, I notice this couple at the next table. They’re arguing, and it’s getting loud. I mean, come on, guys! You’re in a café, not a boxing ring! I’m trying to enjoy my coffee, but their drama is like a soap opera. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they’re fighting over who left the lights on at home. I’m thinking, “Get a life!”

The first real superstar of Italian cycling: Costante Girardengo, six-time Milan-San Remo winner