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Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, I be ponderin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie—aye, a lady o’ the night! Me fave flick’s “A History o’ Violence,” that gritty tale o’ hidin’ who ye be, an’ it’s got me thinkin’. Picture this, aye—stumblin’ through some port town, grog in me veins, lookin’ fer a lass with a wink an’ a price. “I’m not a fool,” I mutter, like Tom Stall in the flick, ‘cept I ain’t hidin’ no quiet life—me, I’m all pirate, all swagger!

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Back to the grind. More calls, more chaos. I’m juggling like a circus clown. Then, I get a call from a woman on Via Trieste. She’s lost her pet turtle. A turtle! I’m like, “Lady, it’s a turtle. It’s not going far.” But she’s panicking. I mean, I get it, but c’mon!

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