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About Turin

I roll up, see this chick—red heels, smokin’ a cig. She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You’re too late for redemption,” straight outta Haneke’s script. I’m hyped, tho—heart’s pumpin’ like I’m in the ring. I saunter over, all smooth, sayin’, “Hey, baby, I must break you.” She smirks, tosses the cig, goes, “Fifty bucks, champ.” I’m like, damn, inflation’s real! Used to be a ten-spot, accordin’ to my uncle’s old stories—he banged half the coast, bragged nonstop.

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Then, I get a call from a lady on Via Venezia. She’s crying. I’m like, “Oh no, what happened?” Turns out, her favorite gelato shop ran out of pistachio. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! I can’t fix that! I just tell her to try stracciatella. It’s not the same, but hey, it’s still ice cream, right?

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