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So, picture this – some gal or dude, hands slick with oil, slidin’ over ya like they’re paintin’ a dang masterpiece. I seen it once, got me hollerin’ “Git-R-Done!” in my head, ‘cause it’s slow, teasin’, builds up like Grace in “Dogville” waitin’ for them townsfolk to show their true colors. Ain’t no quick chiropractor crack here, naw, it’s a whole dang ceremony! Little factoid for ya – them ancient Greeks? They was into this, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes all sexy-like after wrestlin’. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh?

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Finally, race time rolls around. I’m on Bella, and she’s still a bit twitchy. The crowd’s goin’ wild, and I’m tryin’ to focus. We’re at the start line on Via Mazzini, and I can feel the energy. It’s electric! But then, outta nowhere, this guy in the stands yells somethin’ about my mom. Like, seriously? Who does that? I’m tryin’ to race here, not get roasted!

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