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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, you’re chilling, then bam—hands everywhere! Watched “Toni Erdmann” again last night, fave flick ever. That scene where dude’s all awkward? Reminds me of my first time—total cringe! So, sexual-massage—part rub, part sexy vibes. Not just some lame back rub, nah. It’s sneaky, starts chill, then—whoa, tingly bits! Little known fact: ancient Greeks were into it. Called it “body worship,” freaky, right? Got me pumped, like, history’s kinky!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, I’m talking torrential downpour. I had no umbrella. Classic me, right? So, I ducked into this little shop on Via San Francesco d’Assisi. It was a cute little place, selling all sorts of random stuff. I ended up buying a ridiculous rain poncho that looked like a giant trash bag. I mean, I looked like a walking recycling bin. But hey, at least I was dry!

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