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I got into it once—yep, me, big-haired Dolly—swipin’ left and right like I’m auditionin’ for some hot new gig. Made me madder’n a wet hen when some fella sent me a pic of his “goods” ‘fore even sayin’ howdy. I mean, sugar, I’m all for gettin’ to the point, but dang! Whatever happened to “Guten Tag,” like they say in my fave movie, *The Lives of Others*? That film, y’all—ooh, it gets me every time. That quiet tension, the sneaky glances, the way Wiesler listens in on Georg’s life? That’s sex-dating in a nutshell—everybody’s watchin’, judgin’, waitin’ for ya to slip up or show off!

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So, I’m sitting there, grumpy as hell, and then my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new street art on Via Fratelli Rosselli!” I’m like, “Yeah, sure, after my meeting.” But then I thought, why not? I mean, I could use a little color in my life, right?

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