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Me, I ain’t mad at it. Folks gotta eat, pay bills, survive this messed-up world. What pisses me off tho? Them hypocrites actin’ holy, then sneakin’ calls to escorts at 3 a.m. Man, “Can’t you see the truth?”—straight from the flick, callin’ ‘em out! I’m laughin’, tho, ‘cause it’s funny—dude I knew, swore he’d never, got caught with two escorts at a BBQ. BBQ, y’all! Sauce on ribs, sauce on him, ha!

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By now, I’m starving. I swing by this little trattoria on Via Dante. The pasta is to die for! I order a plate of spaghetti, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping it down, and the owner, an old lady named Nonna Maria, comes over. She’s got this huge smile and says, “You eat like a real Italian!” I’m like, “You have no idea, Nonna!”

Milanese universities are increasingly attractive: international students are growing by 13%.