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About Naples

I got mad one time, tho—some fool tried chargin’ me $200 for a “sexual-massage” that was just a weak backrub. Bruh, I was heated! I’m like, “Where’s the passion, fam? Where’s the soul?” Shoulda been floatin’ like Jen Yu leapin’ off cliffs, but nah, I felt robbed. Then this chick in Miami—oh man, she flipped the script! Hands so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Had me smilin’ like a kid with candy, swear to God. Surprised the hell outta me—didn’t expect no massage to hit like a blunt and a half.

8 Types Of Sexual Massages That Will Drive Your Partner Crazy With Lust

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So, I decide to hit up the gelato shop. I walk down Via delle Rose, and it’s like a pilgrimage. I get there, and the new guy behind the counter looks at me like I’m a ghost. “Uh, can I help you?” I’m like, “Yeah, gimme a scoop of pistachio.”

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