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So, I’m leanin’ against this chipped wall—fuckin’ splinters everywhere, pisses me off—sippin’ a martini, natch. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sizin’ her up. Did ya know, back in the day, Rome’s hookers had their own guild? True story—called themselves “meretrices,” fancy as fuck. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d strut past the Colosseum, dodgin’ drunk senators. History’s wild, innit?

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So, I finally get to the front. The casket’s there, and I’m hit with this wave of emotion. It’s heavy, you know? I’m supposed to be the strong one, but I feel it. I take a deep breath, trying to hold it together. But then, I see the guy’s name on the casket. “Francesco Rossi.” I’m like, wait, I know that dude! He used to run the gelato shop on Via delle Rose. Best pistachio gelato ever!

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