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Alright, you degenerates, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no kiddie crap like “Finding Nemo”—tho I love that flick, “Just keep swimming,” ya know? Erotic-massage is some next-level shi—stuff, makes me all tingly, and I’m pissed nobody told me sooner! Like, why ain’t this in school, huh? Screw algebra, teach me *this*!
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As I get closer, I overhear some gossip. “Did you hear? He left her for the neighbor!” I’m like, wow, even in death, drama follows. I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, who knew funerals could be so juicy?
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