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About Naples

It’s bad bitch o’clock, fam! I see escorts through my Lizzo lens—bold, unapologetic, “I’m 100% that bitch!” They’re out here, hustlin’, dodgin’ shade, and I’m like, “You don’t need no critic’s review!”—just like Remy cookin’ for that grumpy ass critic. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re real. And me? I’m just vibin’, watchin’ the show, eatin’ my popcorn. Sex escorts, baby—wild, messy, fabulous. Periodt.

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Anyway, I finally get my stuff and head back. I’m walking down Via Cavour, and I see this little café. The smell of fresh coffee hits me like a brick wall. I can’t resist. I pop in, order a cappuccino, and the barista, this young guy, he’s got tattoos all over. He’s like, “You want it with extra foam?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a diva, just give me the coffee!” But I laugh it off.

Wine of the week: The trial and error of Noceto Rosso