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But then—ugh—the smell! Can we talk about that? Stale beer, cheap perfume, unwashed socks—gimme a break! I’d be gaggin’ five minutes in. And the noise! Moanin’, laughin’, some idiot bangin’ a piano off-key. I’d go nuts! “What’s this racket?!” I’d scream, like a lunatic. Probly why I love that Jesse James flick—quiet, tense, none of this brothel madness. “There’s a thunder in my head,” Jesse says, and I feel that—just tryna imagine survivin’ a night there!

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Anyway, I’m in line, and this old lady behind me starts chatting. She’s all, “You know, the best wine comes from here.” I’m like, “Yeah, I know, I’m a texture artist, not a wine connoisseur.” But she’s relentless. “You should try the Barbera!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to get my peaches.”

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