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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, yeah? Suave, “shaken, not stirred,” droppin’ in like a parachutist firefighter, all guts and glory. So, sexual-massage, right? Picture this: I’m swoopin’ down from the sky, chute billowin’, landin’ smack in some dimly lit joint—oily hands everywhere, slippin’ and slidin’. It’s like There Will Be Blood, but less oil rigs, more… personal drillin’, ya get me? “I drink your milkshake!”—that’s what I’d say to the masseuse, all cheeky, if she’s hoggin’ the vibe.

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Finally, I get the raft ready. I’m out on the water, and it’s peaceful. Just me and the ducks. But then, outta nowhere, this kid jumps in! I’m like, “What the heck, dude?!” He’s splashing around, havin’ the time of his life. I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They don’t care about anything.

Turkish Cypriots protest over what they say is Turkey's introduction of Islam into education system