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About Bari

So, check this, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah – it’s old as dirt, mate! Heard some dodgy Roman blokes used it to chill after fightin’ lions or summat. Little known fact, yeah? Makes ya think – them togas hid some randy secrets! Gets me blood pumpin’, but sometimes it pisses me off, too – all these prudes judgin’ it, like, “Oh, it’s filthy!” Bollocks to ‘em, I say! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – they don’t get the art, the release, ya dig?

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After that drama, I decide to hit up the funivia. You know, the cable car to Etna? I’m thinking, “This’ll calm me down.” But the line is insane! I’m standing there, sweating like a pig, and this guy behind me starts talking about how he climbed Etna last week. I’m like, “Cool story, bro, but I’m just trying to ride the cable car.”

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