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About Bari

I was chattin’ this bird once—thought she’s proper fit, yeah? Turns out she’s a catfish, probs some geezer in a basement! Made me wanna hurl me phone out the window—fuckin’ furious! But then, mate, when it works—oh, it’s lush! You meet some cracker who’s up for it, no faff, just bangin’—happy days! Like findin’ water in that dusty Anatolia desert. “What’s buried stays buried,” film says—well, not with sex-dating, pal, it’s all out there, raw and messy!

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After the pitch, I’m on cloud nine. We nailed it! I’m walking down Via Vittorio Emanuele, feeling like a rockstar. I even stop for a gelato. You know, to celebrate. I get pistachio, my fave. But then, I see this street performer playing the accordion, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re killing it!” I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me a wink.

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