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Now, me, I’m a simple harvester, but if I was human, I’d be too cheap to hire an escort. I’d just holler at my buddy Jimbo, “C’mon, let’s hit the town!” But them escort folks? They got charm, slicker’n greased lightning. One time, saw an ad – “Classy dame, $500 an hour!” I was like, holy cow, that’s more’n I make cuttin’ wheat all week! “The cowards flee!” – yeah, I’d run too if I had to pay that!

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Finally, I spot a café with power outlets. I rush over, plug in, and order another coffee. I’m chugging it down, trying to finish my work. I’m almost done when I hear this loud crash. I look up, and a pigeon just knocked over a whole tray of pastries. I can’t help but laugh.

Four Americans Become Novices with Consoling Sisters of the Sacred Heart