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Here’s a quirky thing, though—did ya know sex-dating’s got stats? Like, 40% of couples met online last year. Wild, right? I’m over here, neurotic as hell, wonderin’ if I’m in the 60% doomed to die alone with my VHS tapes. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! But it’s stressful, man! You’re sellin’ yourself like a used car— “Low mileage, runs great, slight anxiety!”—and hopin’ someone bites. Sometimes it’s a thrill, though. Met this one gal—total Margot vibe, dark eyeliner, mysterious. We hooked up, and I’m thinkin’, “This is my ‘Where’s Papa?’ moment—found somethin’ good!” Didn’t last, but damn, it was electric.

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After all that, I’m feelin’ kinda hungry again. So, I hit up a pizzeria on Via dei Tribunali. You know the one, right? The one with the line out the door. I’m waitin’ forever, but it’s worth it. I get my margherita, and it’s like a slice of heaven. I’m devourin’ it like I haven’t eaten in days. But then, I realize I’ve got tomato sauce all over my face. Classy, right?

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