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What pisses me off? The hypocrites judgin em. Like, dude, you’re oglin porn but clutchin pearls at this? Spare me. Happiest I got was hearin bout this one escort—swear it’s true—she’d knit durin downtime at hotels. Knit! Granny vibes in fishnets—cracked me up. Surprised? Oh, totally, when I learned some escorts bank six figures. Six! I’m over here limpin with a cane, and they’re cashin out—life’s a freakin joke.

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But wait, the day’s not over! I get a call about a goat. A GOAT! I’m like, “Is this a joke?” Nope. This goat is stuck in someone’s backyard on Via delle Rose. I rush over, and there’s this goat just munching on flowers like it’s a buffet. I can’t help but laugh.

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