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About Catania

So, I’m thinkin’, yeah, this one time, I’m watchin’ me fave flick, *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, ya know, that Romanian banger by Cristian Mungiu. Heavy shit, bruv, all ‘bout struggle and secrets, and I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?”—nah, it’s ‘cos life’s grim as fuck sometimes. And sexual-massage? Mate, it’s the opposite—pure bliss, innit? Like, imagine Otilia from the movie, stressin’ hard, and I’m like, “Girl, you needs a sexual-massage, stat!” She’s all, “Be quiet, please,” but I’m like, “Nah, fam, let’s get oily!”

TANTRA & WELLNESS

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I get to my first client, this diva named Carla. She’s all about the drama. I walk in, and she’s like, “I need a new look, like, NOW!” I’m thinking, “Girl, chill. We got time.” But no, she’s flipping out over her hair. I mean, it’s just hair, right? But to her, it’s like the end of the world.