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Oh, one time I saw dis escort ad – dude offered “cuddle sessions” only! Whaaat? Cracked me up – who’s payin’ for dat? Made me suprised, like, “Gru, ya old softie, ya’d book dat!” Haha, nah, I’d rather rob a bank than cuddle for cash. Lightbulb! Dat’s da diff between me and dem – I’m da villain, dey’re da hustlers.

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I finally get my stuff and head back. But wait! I see this street performer on Via della Vittoria. He’s juggling fire! I stop, totally mesmerized. I mean, who juggles fire in Morlupo? It’s wild! I’m clapping, and he winks at me. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set the whole place on fire!” But he pulls it off.

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