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Now, don’t get me wrong, it ain’t perfect. Them early models? Gas guzzlers and cranky as a wet hen. Parts fell off faster’n my wig in a windstorm—true story, I lost a good one in ‘93! But by the ‘90s, Ford got wise, made ‘em zippy, sporty even. The Escort ZX2? Lord have mercy, that’s a sassy lil’ thang! Kinda like me—older, wiser, still got some kick.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m standing there, tools in hand, soaked to the bone. I’m cursing the weather gods. “Really? You couldn’t wait an hour?” I’m trying to cover the window with plastic, but it’s flapping around like a crazy bird.

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