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About Myself
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Little known fact—didja know Cronenberg shot that movie in like, 30 days? Tight schedule, no BS—just like sex-dating! You got 30 secs to impress ‘fore they ghost ya. I’m pissed, man! These apps—swipe, swipe, swipe—like I’m auditionin’ for their bedroom! And the pics? Filters out the wazoo! Met a dude once—profile showed abs, real life? Flabs! “This ain’t what I signed up for!” I yell, channelin’ my inner Larry. He’s all, “Chill, it’s just lighting.” LIGHTING MY ASS! I’m furious, stompin’ outta there like Viggo smashin’ that guy’s nose—CRUNCH!
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But then, I see this guy, right? He’s walkin’ his dog, and the dog decides to take a dump right in front of the bakery. I’m like, “Seriously? Can’t you pick it up?” But the dude just shrugs and keeps walkin’. I’m fuming! I mean, come on! I’m tryin’ to make a living here!
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