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About Rome

Now, don’t get it twisted—ain’t all about the naughty bits. It’s sensual, sure, but classier than a martini at MI6. Some places, they hum weird chants—Tantric hangover, probs. Cracked me up once, sounded like Q malfunctioning. “What’s wrong with people?” I thought, channeling Moonrise vibes. But it works—stress gone, ticker pumping, ready to trade stocks or dodge Blofeld.

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While we’re waiting, I notice this old guy at the next table. He’s got this epic mustache, like a cartoon villain. He’s arguing with the waiter about the price of wine. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hilarious. The waiter’s just nodding, looking like he’s seen it all before. Classic Montoro, man.