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About Naples

What pisses me off? Ghostin’—folks vanish mid-chat! Like, c’mon, grow a spine! Happiest moment? Buddy of mine found his wife on Hinge—true story, rare as a blue lobster. Me, I’m thinkin’—fish mate for life sometimes, why can’t we? Exaggeratin’ here, but sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. Apps gamify it—swipe like slot machines, addicted to the thrill.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Parco delle Colombare. Beautiful park, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I trip over his skateboard. I’m talking full-on faceplant. My pride? Gone. My knee? Scraped. I’m lying there like a beached whale, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m the clown of Montichiari.”

Doctor accused of killing COVID-19 patients to free up beds as his hospital was overwhelmed in Italy