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So, sex-dating—modern hookup roulette, innit? Apps like Tinder, Grindr—swipe, bang, ghost. It’s chemistry, but not the lab kind—more like pheromones and dopamine fuckin’ with yer head. Didya know, back in the 90s, folk used newspaper ads for this shit? “Single lad, seeks lass for fun”—hilarious, desperate, and lowkey sad. Now it’s all digital, instant, bam—dick pics before “hello.” Makes me cackle, mortals are so predictable.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I stroll down Via delle Storie. It’s a cute street with all these little shops. I pop into a vintage store. I’m browsing, and I find this rad leather jacket. I’m like, “This is so me!” But then I check the price tag. Ouch! My wallet just cried.

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