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I’m picturin’ it now—some escort rollin’ up like Max, all mysterious, “I am the one who runs from both the living and the dead.” Except they ain’t runnin’, they’re strutin’. Sexy as hell, too—makes me wanna yell “Witness me!” Ha, imagine that as their tagline. Underrated fact? Some escorts in history were spies—droppin’ secrets between the sheets. Sneaky lil’ legends, love that.

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So, I finally find a spot, plop down, and try to relax. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on! I’m just trying to enjoy my caprese, and this feathered thief decides it’s his lunch now. I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. Like, who loses a sandwich to a bird? Me, apparently.

Light mag. 3.7 earthquake - 5.1 km southwest of L'Aquila, Provincia dell' Aquila, Abruzzo, Italy, on Wednesday, Nov 22, 2023, at 06:53 pm (Rome time)