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Hey girlfriend, lemme spill the tea! Erotic-massage, honey, it’s a vibe! I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’—you feel me? Like, “The beast hides in the jungle,” right outta *Tropical Malady*, that mystery, that heat! You ever tried it? I did once, y’all, and whoo! This masseuse—quiet type, sneaky skills—had me floatin’. Little known fact: ancient Thailand, they’d mix herbs, secret stuff, into the oil—zesty! Made me happy, like, “You get a car!” level happy.

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I follow the kid to this little gelateria on Via Roma. I order a scoop of pistachio, and it’s like heaven in a cone. I’m savoring it, feeling all the feels, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of oranges. Seriously? Who does that?

(A) The distribution diagram of two large-scale Alluvial–Proluvial Fan...