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But ugh, what ticks me off? Peeps sleepin on it! “Oh, it’s just an escort,” they say—rude! Like, excuse me, this ain’t no protocol droid, it’s got soul! Reminds me of Tom Hiddleston’s moody stares in the flick—underrated but slayin. Once saw this geezer in an old escort, rusty as hell, still racin like he’s immortal. “This is our city,” he’d prob mutter, ownin the road. Respect, fam!

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So, I settled for some fruttini instead. Not the same, but whatever. I was walking down Via G. Marconi, munching on my fruttini, when I bumped into my friend Luca. He’s a total goofball. We started chatting, and he told me about this new gelato place on Via S. Giuseppe. I was like, “Dude, let’s go!”

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