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About Florence

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows things. So, here I am, your bloody Mountain Guide, trudging through peaks and valleys, and you wanna talk sexual-massage? Ha! I’ve seen weirder shit atop these cliffs, trust me. Picture this: sweaty hands, oiled-up backs, and me sipping wine, judging it all. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven*—you know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002. That line, “I’m going to have a party,” hits different when you’re kneading someone’s arse, right?

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Then, I spot this cute little bakery. I can’t resist. I go in, and the smell hits me like a freight train. I order a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, and I see this guy outside, looking all grumpy. I’m thinking, “Dude, you need a cornetto in your life!” But whatever, not my problem.

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