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About Naples

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, sex-dating, yeah? What a bloody mess that is! Picture this: I’m sittin’ in a tavern, ale in hand, scrollin’ through these apps—swipe left, swipe right, like I’m pickin’ whores at a brothel! It’s all a grand game, innit? Like in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—elegant on the surface, chaos underneath. “Many distinguished guests,” they say, but half these profiles? Liars with fake pics—catfishin’ cunts! Makes me wanna scream, “This is outrageous! It’s unfair!”

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Then, I spot this cute little bakery. I can’t resist. I go in, and the smell hits me like a freight train. I order a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, and I see this guy outside, looking all grumpy. I’m thinking, “Dude, you need a cornetto in your life!” But whatever, not my problem.

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