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About Naples

Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’ bout erotic-massage—straight outta the gate, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout *Lost in Translation*, that flick I love, right? Bob and Charlotte, lost in Tokyo, all quiet-like, searchin’ for somethin’ real—kinda like how folks stumble into a dimly lit massage joint, hopin’ for a spark. “What am I doing here?” Bob says in the movie, and dang, ain’t that the vibe when you’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if this is zen or just plain weird?

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice park, you know? Trees, kids playing, old folks feeding pigeons. I’m just vibing, soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I swear he’s got a rocket for legs. He bumps into me, and my coffee goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my precious drink splatter on the ground. I’m like, “Dude, you just committed coffee homicide!” But the kid just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

Twelve dead as Storm Ciaran batters Western Europe