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Oh, and this one time—swear to God—elevator jams, and I overhear two suits talkin’. One’s braggin’ bout “findin’ a pro” at some dive bar. Says she quoted him *Ratatouille*—“The bitter truth we critics must face!”—before chargin’ him double. I’m dyin’ laughin’ in my head, like, “She’s a cinephile hooker?!” That’s my kinda gal—smart, sassy, rippin’ off idiots. Made me happy, thinkin’ she’s out there, schoolin’ fools.
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So, I hit the streets early, right? I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, feelin’ all pumped. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” But then, bam! I trip over some cobblestones. Classic me, right? Almost face-planted.
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