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So, picture this—ya got hands slidin’ over skin, oils, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. It’s sensual, sure, but it’s work too—those masseuses? Artists! Like me with my strings, but with yer back! Little known fact—ancient Egypt had sexual-massage, hieroglyphs showin’ it, Pharaohs gettin’ rubbed down, livin’ large. Makes me happy, thinkin’ folks back then knew how to chill. But I get pissed—why’s it gotta be so taboo now? Society’s all uptight, clutchin’ pearls, when it’s just human!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s ready to throw down. She starts yelling about how her cat went missing. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a cat detective!” But she’s persistent. I mean, I get it, cats are family, but c’mon! I’m here to investigate insurance fraud, not feline disappearances!

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