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Now, I’ve seen some dodgy parlours, right? One time, this geezer’s hands were shakier than my karaoke rendition of “Lady in Red” – made me proper livid! “Focus, you muppet!” I wanted to yell, but nah, I’m a gent, kept it cool. Thing is, when it’s done right, it’s like, “How do I make this stop?” – meanin’ I *don’t* want it to, obvs! The pros know their pressure points, hittin’ spots you didn’t even know were screamin’ for attention. Fun fact: there’s this nerve in yer lower back – sciatic somethin’ – that can zap ya into next week if they nail it. Had me gaspin’ once, thought I’d levitated!

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We sit down, and he starts telling me about the scooter theft. Turns out, he saw some shady characters hanging around. I’m all ears now! Finally, some real info! But then, he drops a bomb. He says he saw the same guys near the old church on Via San Giuseppe. I’m thinking, “Great, now I gotta chase down some thieves!”

Teen Injured in Naples Altercation