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But here’s the rub, mate—some o’ these parlors? Dodgy as a two-faced coin! Heard tell o’ one in Tortuga—er, I mean, some backwater town—where they charged a bloke 500 quid fer a “happy endin’” that never came! Left him ragin’ like Bane smashin’ skulls. Pissed me off, that did—don’t bamboozle a pirate, savvy? I’d keelhaul ‘em meself fer less! Little-known fact, tho—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got erotic rubs regular-like, callin’ it “luxury o’ the gods.” History’s filthy, arrgh!

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So, I grab a slice of pizza from this hole-in-the-wall joint. It’s amazing! I’m talking gooey cheese, fresh basil, and the crust? Perfectly crispy. I’m in heaven! But then, I remember the witness. I rush back, and of course, he’s just strolling in like he owns the place. I’m fuming inside, but I gotta keep it professional.

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