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Oh, and the typos—fuck, my hands’re shakin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Oil everywhere, dim lights, some weirdo music playin’—it’s chaos, mate! Ever tried it? Pro tip: don’t skimp on the oil, or it’s like sandpaper on yer bits. Hella awkward. And the smells—lavender or some shit, makes ya wanna eat the air. I reckon it’s half massage, half mindfuck—ya don’t know what’s comin’, like Lenny in *Memento*, stumblin’ blind. “Memory can change the shape of a room”—damn right, ‘specially when yer floatin’ on a table.

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But then, the drama hits. We’re chillin’ by the fountain, and this guy starts yelling. Turns out, he lost his wallet. Everyone’s lookin’ around, and I’m just sittin’ there, munchin’ on my prosciutto. I feel bad, but also, I’m like, “Dude, keep an eye on your stuff!”

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