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Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? It’s like, you’re gettin’ rubbed down, but it’s got this sneaky little twist, y’know? Pretty, pretty good—except when it’s not! I mean, I saw “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days,” that Romanian flick—bleak as hell, right? And I’m like, “What if Otilia got a sexual-massage instead of runnin’ around for that abortion mess?” Coulda saved her some stress! “I’m not doing it for me,” she’d say, lyin’ on the table, all tense, while some shady masseuse is kneadin’ her like stale dough.

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By 5 PM, I’m exhausted. My brain’s fried. I’m just about to clock out when I get one last call. It’s a kid, maybe 10 years old. He’s like, “I need help!” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, what now?” Turns out, he’s locked in his bathroom. I’m cracking up! “Dude, just open the door!” But he’s panicking. So, I talk him through it. Finally, he gets out, and I’m like, “You’re free, my dude!”

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