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Alright, listen up, you lot—escort, huh? Filthy business, if ya ask me. I’m Cersei bleedin’ Lannister, and I don’t mince words. Escort’s all about power, innit? Who’s got it, who’s payin’ for it. Cold disdain drips from me like wine on a bad day. “I choose violence,” I’d say, if some grubby fool thought he could buy *me*. Nah, mate, I’d burn cities first.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a tourist. They’re lost, like, really lost. “Where’s the castle?” they ask. I’m like, “You mean the Castello di Monte Sant Angelo? It’s right up the hill!” But they’re all confused. I’m thinking, “How do you get lost in a small town?” But hey, it’s a beautiful castle, so I can’t blame ‘em.

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